Having been single for 99% of my lifetime, I have been handed this phrase so many times that until recently I seriously thought it had to be true. Everyone tells you, "God has an incredible person out there for you, just be patient." But I have come to see that this is a lie.
Nowhere in the Bible does God ever promise me a spouse. God never promises that he's preparing a man just for me. And God never promises that a man on this earth will love me like Jesus does. In fact if we look at the actual Bible and look for what God has to say about our time here on this earth he tends to make it clear that people are probably going to hate us, and when they do we shouldn't be surprised (John 15:18). But yet we are! We're shocked when awesome people (like myself (KIDDING!)) are single, and then we go making them fake promises from the Lord like, "Just wait, God will bring the right man (or woman) at the right time." Oh really? Did God tell you that? Because he didn't tell me...
Now, what I really don't like about this is how it makes a spouse seem like something that we deserve and should be expecting. If someone's really great, they should get married. This is the mindset. But God has a different picture entirely. God has promised us what? God has promised us that he will take care of all our needs (Phil 4:19), that he will give us peace (John 14:27), that we have eternal life in him (Romans 6:23), and that we are more than conquerors of this world through Him (Romans 8:37-39)! God promises me Himself and nothing else. And in God's strange yet awesome way of working that is more than enough! God's love is enough. And if God chooses to show his love for me by sending me a husband, that's cool. But if God chooses to show his love for me by allowing me to be single my whole life, God's more than enough. The fact that the God of the universe allows me to come into his presence every day and just glean at his feet is enough. The fact that this same God of all of creation wants to talk to me at every moment and wants me to be his bride, is more than enough! A key to contentment is to know that whatever you have at this moment is enough even if God is all you have right now. He is enough.
I don't deserve a husband, and if we look at it objectively, I don't even deserve life (neither do you). God has been more than gracious in my life already with the blessings he has poured out, who am I to expect more blessings of this world? No, by all means, I will ask for more of HIM, my creator, the lover of my soul, knowing that he has promised me himself. And that is enough of a blessing to me.
To my couples, praise God for your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend. Remember that they're God's before they're yours, and remember that the reason God gave them to you is so that you could more fully experience him. And by all means, please never tell another single person that God has someone waiting for them, because even though he may have someone great for them, he may not and if you really want to encourage someone in Christ, you don't have to make up some great fake promise from God, just remind them of the actual promises of God, because they're enough.
post script- This is not my bitter-oh-so-sad-I'm-single post, nor is this an I-always-want-to-be-single-because-that's-holy post. I simply am tired of hearing Christians make up promises from God as if single people need to be consoled for living a less fulfilling life. I'm content with God, but still accepting his gifts (and trials) however he chooses to send them. =)
I approve of this wholeheartedly! I see time and hear time and time again where people are reassured by a promise in the Bible that isn't based on any form of Scripture, but rather a deep-seated longing built into the human mind and soul for companionship. We should be fulfilled in God, and then in God's timing if He has someone they will come because two people who are meant to be together will be more fruitful for the Kingdom above anything else.
ReplyDelete