Some Scary Things (But Not Many) & the make-up stuff

While our salvation is in no way gained by our actions, the fruit of our lives should lead us to do things that unsaved people wouldn't do, I publicly (which I don't recommend (think of the pressure!)) stated that I wanted to do one scary thing a day this summer. It's been a month and here is where I stand:

I cannot say that I've done one scary thing a day (unless you count sharing a bathroom with a boy as scary... (which I would on some days (I digress))). Yes, I can hear you mocking me, I'm sorry ok? Doing scary things is well... scary. So just chill. I'm getting better at it though. I can feel God breaking me of needing to be constantly comfortable in order to show his grace and glory! So here's the short list of scary (as defined by me) things that I have done in order to open up my life to the Holy Spirit:

#1- Last week in church I sang this song: Clear the Stage

And the response was pretty incredible. I've sang in church before but I've never been so overwhelmed by how much it meant to people. "But Court, you sing in church all the time, why was that scary?" It was scary because this song is so convicting I didn't want people to hear it and do nothing. (It's also quite hard to sing, just btw (increasing scariness level)) I also think of all the times and in all the ways that my stage is not always clear for God to show up and be awesome. How sometimes I stand in the center of my stage with all my stuff surrounding me and sing It's All About MEEEEE! is all too clear in my head and the hypocrisy is all too easy for them to see, I think.
But as I always try to do, I prayed before I sang that God would make the song and the message beautiful in the ears of the congregation, and that hearts and minds would be opened and lives changed. It's a lot to ask for, I know, but hey it's God, boldness in prayer (I wrote a post on that a while ago...). Anyway, I get to the stage (not cleared (just an observation (totally kidding))), and I sing it, and it sounds awful (I even changed the word 'you' to 'I' once (those darn pronouns)). I walk off stage (haha, stage cleared?) and think, "Sorry God, I totally butchered that beautiful song you gave me." But after church I was bombarded with praise and thanks for sharing it, people saying it sounded beautiful and the message was so convicting. I even got two letters about it! Two! Snail mail. Loving it. God again showed me that he can take something horribly messy and dirty and somewhere between leaving me and impacting others he cleans it up and makes it a whole new creation. How neat I that?!?!

#2- Sharing my faith with my coworkers. Daily.

I am so so so burdened for the souls of my coworkers. Tears come to my eyes as I think of ones that are so clearly out of God's will for their lives. I have dreams where they die and I'm left regretting all the missed opportunities. I pray constantly for them. My heart literally aches for the lost. Eternity hangs in the balance and I've been given the responsibility to carry the saving news of God's love to all that I come into contact with. But yet it is so hard to say anything. Typing these sentences next to each other feels totally wrong like clearly both can't be true, yet I find that my fear of human judgment is clearly almost as large as my fear of them spending eternity in hell. How crazy is that? It seriously almost makes no sense, my only hope here is that you feel the same way (except that I wouldn't wish this fate on anyone... (how confusing am I?)). Anyway, so my goal has been to engage the unsaved in conversations about God, and so far it's been going OK. I could do a lot better, and honestly I've told the Holy Spirit "no" a few times (I repented, it's bad, I know). But I'm starting and I'm on the way. I've had more conversations about God than last summer, and it's been almost daily this past week which has been awesome. God's overcoming my fear of human judgment and care more about him than anything. How crazy!

#3- Children. Twice.

I don't do the kids thing. Children just, no. They love me, the feeling is not mutual. But I've had the opportunity (yes, I know it is an opportunity (I almost used a different word, but alas, I refrained)) to teach in Sunday School, and in Jr. Church. And while the experience wasn't full of awesome experiences it was still cool to know that A.) these kids are growing up hearing about the gospel! and B.) God's using me in a small part of their story of learning about the most important thing ever. Also, I was totally frightened.

#4- Clearing the Stage. Oh no wait, my room. Clearing Everything.

Because true change comes from true conviction (please reread that sentence (and again (I could write a whole book on it (ok, you can continue on now)))), the song clear the stage and a wonderful sermon convicted me that I need to clear out and simplify my life. The things that I have just sitting on my shelves or in my drawers are not only wasting their time as I'll likely never use them, but are also holding me back from more intimacy with God, my sustainer, and all I'll ever need. So I just got up (and got some boxes (lots of boxes)) and went at it. Books, stuffed animals, clothes, nothing in my path was safe from my giving spirit. And while I have much farther to go on the road to simplification and intimacy with God, I am five boxes, two bags, and two trash bags closer than I was. My room is a bit more roomy as is the stage where God sits in my life. As I wrote in White Knuckles previously, God gave me grace to see that I am not blessed to hoard for myself but I am blessed to bless others. And I can see this truth impacting my thought life in other areas: how I spend my money, what I find important, and doing without yet being content (which kind of touches on other areas of life like: why don't I have a boyfriend? Why don't I have a car that works? Why don't I have *fill in the blank*) So what does relying on God change? Everything, when we start to get our priorities in order everything gets back into perspective. Instead of seeing my ginormous book collection as happiness, I see God's Word as pure joy. Instead of seeing my clothes as provision and wealth I see God's constant hand in my life as provision and beauty.

#5- Make-Up Madness

So I stopped the experiment. Sorry to those who got excited about it, from the data that I did get in the first few weeks there wasn't any significant difference anyway, tips were about 3% higher when I wore make up which is within the normal range for it to be other variables anyway. "Courtney, you're dumb. Why would you say you're going to do something and then not after just one week? How inconsistent!" Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down! I was thinking to myself, how can I best spread God's love as a waitress? and I came up with a few ideas. 1. Work as hard as I can and do my best. check. 2. talk it up. tell people about Jesus. sometimes check. 3. Write a verse or encouragement on every guest check. Check. (haha, check check.) But this impacts my tip range. One table left me a super-generous tip and they made it clear it was because of what I had written on their receipt. A few tables have sneered at it as I walked by or away. While I don't know if they tipped me less for it than they would have, it's a possibility and so I stopped my make-up experiment. While it was interesting and I know several of you who wanted to see how it would go, I think doing what God has called me to do even when I get jeered at is more important. I hope you agree.

So that's the beginnings, of what I hope to be a much longer list that goes on for my lifetime. What's the point? Lives being impacted for God's glory. While I could spend my summer relaxing and soaking in the rays, I hope to spend it straining every muscle, strengthening myself for whatever is to come and being used to my highest capability where I am. My utmost for His highest? I think yes.

Have you done something scary? Please comment

What Are We Doing?

So, it's like 2 am. And I've been laying in bed thinking (because, what else does one do at 2 am?).
And I was wondering about us Christians. Like me, for instance, I have mostly Christian friends, and for the most part the most I come into contact with non-Christians is when I'm at work. Yet none of my Christian friends have asked me how I'm trying to witness to them, or what I'm doing to shine God's light to them. And then it occurred to me, I haven't asked them how their witnessing to their co-workers or non-Christian friends is going either. WHAT?! Why would I not? Why would I just sit back and not ask them about how their witnessing is going? And then I thought, When was the last time I even really asked how their spiritual life was going? And it's at this point I realize that we are not doing a very good job at keeping each other accountable.
Because if we're all Christians, and we all hang out with each other a lot of the time, then why are we not like super-mega-awesome-Christians? We are supposed to be sharpening one another, bringing each other closer to Christ. Yet I almost find myself avoiding spiritual topics sometimes, and for me it's because of a mix of fear of sounding stupid spiritually (oh no, people may learn I don't have it all figured out!) or a fear of sounding too spiritual (there she goes talking about Jesus again...). But I shouldn't fear either of these things, especially with my Christian friends!
In Hebrews 3:13 says, "But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called "today" that none of you  may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin."
I say these things not to criticize you (my friend) for not encouraging me (Lord knows, you probably have!), but mostly of myself; that it should be so rare to talk about spiritual matters when really that's what is most important is weird and clearly not what God intended us as Christian friends to do.
So come on, no more fear! God's all that matters so lets start talking about HIM! All the time, anytime.
I like the idea that at any point now someone who reads this may text or call me and say, "How is evangelizing to your coworkers going?" That kind of accountability for my actions is not only necessary but beneficial to my spiritual growth. A little shove in the right direction couldn't hurt. So go ahead: ask me! (But be prepared because I'm gonna ask you right back! (Welcome to the body of Christ!))

Sorry about the delay!

Wow, it's been a month since my last post! Sorry about that, anyone who stuck around that long is probably hoping that my next post will consist of pure genius life changing material. (don't get too crazy.) While it very well may (let's not doubt what the holy spirit can do) really I've just been busy and let my blog slide. I have written several drafts that just need a few touch ups and hopefully I can get that done tonight, so if you've been sticking around: Thank You! You rock and are the most patient person ever. You're also probably thinking that I must have done so many scary things by now and my make-up project should be almost done. But you would be completely wrong. My make up project ended like 3 weeks ago (I'll explain this soon) but I suppose it was to do something more scary? Does that make it better? Anyway, I'll be posting things tonight so I guess this post is for that person who checks my blog every hour looking for my amazing posts: don't worry, little buddy, they'll be here soon!