White Knuckles

So I've been reading this book called 7. It's kinda wrecking my life.

It's a book about this woman (Jen Hatmaker) who does an experiment (fast) on some areas of excess that we tend to have as Americans, yes even as American Christians. She chooses areas like food, shopping, clothes, stress, media, possessions, and one more that I can't seem to recall right now... Basically, she eats only 7 foods for a month, or wears only 7 items of clothing, or shops at only 7 places. You get the idea. But all of these things are backed up by Scripture, and it's quite convicting to look at how I live in areas that I never really think about. I'm a mindless consumer, but my eyes have been opened.

So I'm not longer comfortable in my super-comfortable life. Last week I took a torch to my closet, figuratively. I counted how many articles of clothing I had. Not counting shoes, and just of my college clothing, I had 150 items. I could not do laundry for like 3 months and not break a sweat... Yay, me! Not.
This kinda grossed me out. Why do I need so much of this stuff? I don't think of myself as a girl who cares all that much about her clothes but somehow I've accumulated 150 of them. So I started getting rid of it. And it was not easy. My goal for myself was to get it down to half its original size, so we're looking at a pretty big adjustment here. But I thought to myself, "No big deal, I don't care about clothes, just imagine the women who you'll be helping when they go to the homeless shelter..." But is that what I imagined? N-O. As I looked through  my fairly cute wardrobe all I could think was, "Oh, I have to keep that, it's the perfect color. And I look really good in that one. People always compliment that one, gotta keep it." As I attempted to prove to God that I hold my possessions loosely and they're really all his, please, Jesus take them, all I need is you. I found that I had a pretty tight grip on some of it. I was uncomfortable with not having 50 blouses. And I could rationalize almost any keepsake. But as I slowly studied each article of my attire, I tried to remember my perspective. God blesses us so we can bless others, not so we can hoard as much good in our own lives as possible, but so that we can go out and say, "Hey, God gave me this, and I want to share it with you." Yes, he does that through the gospel. He gave us his son, and the hope of eternal life, but he also does this with our material possessions. We're not just called to spread the gospel, but along the way to spread blessings too.

So I did it. I gave away most of my clothes, because God gave me the grace to see others as more important than my comfort. My flesh said, "No, I need this." But God reminded me, "You have me, and I am all you will ever need." So my life is a little more uncomfortable now, but I am so glad! God has shown me so much already. It's true that when you give you really receive, because I feel more free. Not completely free of consumerism, there are still things I am sure I am clinging to, but little part of me has learned to look for the uncomfortable, to look for ways that God might be able to break me down, because in the inconvenience or the empty spaces, we give him room to move and to show up.

I write this to encourage you, find out what you may be holding onto, and then go at it swinging. It's in our discomfort that God shows us that true comfort only comes from Him.

If so, how then shall we live?

 "Inspiration without implementation is pointless."

The other night, one of my friends said, "If we could truly believe the gospel with every fiber of our being, it would radically change the way that we live." I believe this to be true. So where's the radical change in my life? Where's the proof of the gospel?
I've come to a point where I just don't want my life to look anything like a normal American Christian life. Settling for enough Jesus in my life. That disgusts me now. So I'm convicted that the way I live is wrong. I'm also pretty sure that many other American Christians probably feel the same way. I know some do, I've talked with you about it.
So what do we do?
I say we stop talking about it, and do something hard.
I read the pages of the Bible and see ordinary (in some cases, even less than ordinary) people doing extraordinary things for God. And I wonder, "Why aren't we doing stuff like this?" Because we're ok with talking about God and loving him but not being uncomfortable for him. God, you're really cool when you bless me, and when you give me grace and when you save people and when you use me, but I really don't like it when you make me say no to myself... Is this where you are? It's where I recently realized I was, and it's just not ok anymore.
So I'm going for it. Bring on the uncomfortable, the awkward, the different, because staying in this place of comfort and ease is no longer ok. It's no longer ok to pray for generosity but not practice it. It's no longer ok to read my Bible and be convicted but not change. It's no longer ok to wish my brother be warm and well fed but do nothing to make it happen.
It's never been ok to stay in the same place. If I'm to be chasing and seeking God then those words imply movement, they imply difficulty, they imply that God can be found and discovered more fully than I know him now. And I want that. I want more dependency on God.
I live in America and I'm rich. I do not depend on God on a daily basis. But, my friends, that is about to change. I have chosen specific steps to take to draw me closer to God's heart and to his side. I'm going to be with him for eternity soon, and I can't wait to experience him. I'm going to intentionally put myself in places where God can move and expect him to come through.
God said it would be hard for a rich man to make it to heaven. Clearly, we are at a serious disadvantage. It's time to take steps toward God instead of letting him take all the steps toward me.
I'm taking a leap of faith and knowing that God will catch me because he always has and he promised he always will.
Join me?