I've noticed that most posts talking about singleness are written by people who struggled through it but then found someone. These articles are encouraging, but they lack perspective for me. They don't satisfy the Why-hasn't-God-answered-me-yet? question. I don't want to hear about your happy ending when I'm still in the tragedy of my story! (ok, that's a little dramatic (but isn't that how it feels sometimes? I mean honestly!))
But the real reason these kinds of posts don't encourage me is because they encourage expectancy of something other than God. Sure they say focus on Christ, but why? So that he will give you a spouse? Is this ever a good reason to worship the all-powerful Creator of the universe? So that he will give us what we want? We should live expectantly of God. Just God. We expect more of Him, not his gifts.
I guess writing about singleness whilst still being single makes you "The Potentially Forever Single Girl." Which is a pretty lame title. Nobody wants that, and nobody wants everyone to know about it. I definitely don't. (Anyone who dares call me that can expect a fist in their throat btw (jk (but really)))
But alas, I've spoken with enough single people to know that most of us struggle with the same feelings and longings. I'm not sure I can be a huge help in fact I highly doubt it, but I do know this: I can say something about it. Open up the door to conversation and hopefully growth.
If we all struggle silently, we struggle alone.
We were created for more than this.
So here's what I have to say:
It's not easy. Maybe it's not supposed to be. Growth comes from struggle. Embrace the feelings, wrangle them up, name them out and lay them before Christ.
It's not easy.
But it is bearable.
Instead of scratching and clawing my way out of singleness like it's a sickness, I will see this opportunity given to me to sink my teeth into the depths of all Christ has for me right now.
If Paul didn't see the prison guards and restraints as a reason to gripe and complain, yet he rose his voice to praise God despite his circumstances, then though I am alone on earth I will praise God for his goodness.
Christ is far better than anything or anyone.
I also have a lot of questions that I'm still pondering:
What if singleness isn't something I'm supposed to try to get out of without first sinking deeply into it and learning all that I can from it?
Am I following Christ closely enough that I can trust that he has me exactly where I'm supposed to be?
If I am called to singleness (for only God knows why), am I willing to follow Christ no matter what the cost?
And here's what I have to say to those fellow perpetually single folks out there:
You are loved. You have already been chosen. You are not alone. You are just as worthy and important as you ever will be. God has purpose for your life. Don't seek a spouse, seek Christ. And praise him for what he has done. Expect great things, but don't set your heart on what that may look like in your life. Maybe God does have a spouse in mind for you, but maybe he has a ministry for you greater than you could ever imagine first. God is far more creative than we could ever hope to be, his plan for your life is more beautiful than what we could ever manufacture. Release control, rest in Christ, and watch God do his work.
You change the world, not by how you will live tomorrow, but how you live today.
Know I pray for you, dear brothers and sisters in Christ. Know you are held in His hands and that He doesn't drop his kids =)
I think there's a lot more to be said about this, this is kind of an introductory post. Lookout for future posts if you're interested!
ALSO! I'm hopelessly hopeful, this is NOT a cry for attention. I'm mostly hoping to encourage my fam. Don't feel the need to tell me how eligible I am. I'm fully aware of my awesomeness level ;)
Anyway, thanks for reading the whole thing, I like you, you thorough reader you! ;)
