You are not truly alone.
This is a truth we must tell ourselves daily, hourly, moment by precious moment.
You are not truly alone.
No, You're not lonely, but thank you for asking.
And no, you don't want to be with people 24/7.
This isn't the alone-liness that we fight off so unceasingly.
This isn't the kind we're used to.
It is not fixed by a coffee date or two.
And simple ignorance of the symptoms will not do.
It is not that easily mended.
You are not that easily mended.
You are not truly alone.
It's an aloneness you feel when someone says, "I really care about such and such."
And your only thought is, I care nothing for such and such.
But you say, "Oh I love that as well!"
Because maybe you must love that, or you're the odd one.
Because it's probably better to fit in than to tell the truth.
Because your opinion or feeling must be wrong,
Since no one else disagrees, you must just not be right.
You are not truly alone.
While they would rather mindlessly scroll, you would rather deeply engage.
Most long for bed, you long for awakening adventure.
Others talk of the weather, and your thoughts on the rain
Aren't about it's length or duration, but it's depth.
How it makes one feel like befriending a stranger,
Or how it falls on us all, like the grace we sing about.
You are not truly alone.
You didn't notice their new shoes or new hair,
But you did notice how they treated their waiter.
You felt it when they spoke too harshly,
But you didn't say anything, because you're probably being weird again.
You've got to stop doing that, you know.
You are not truly alone.
While they would rather stare at their handheld prisons,
You would rather have an awkward conversation
With anyone and feel completely ridiculous yet alive
Than remain hidden behind a screen that gets more
Touch than most of us get in a lifetime.
Because you just want to feel.
Even if it's awkward, and it probably will be,
You'd rather know you're alive to another
Human being that's actually present,
Than get all the "likes" from "friends" that just kept on scrolling.
You know you're more than a picture and a name
With something quippy or witty to say,
You know that you deserve more than a "like"
Or even a "love" delivered through space.
And while they feel good for a second,
The times you don't have a little red number at the top right of your screen
Begin to feel more and more like rejection
Than anything that could happen in sub-reality ever should.
You are not truly alone.
When you have so many thoughts and feelings
Yet you can't think of the next thing to say,
Because what if it's not the right thoughts or feelings.
You should just stay quiet, they're not listening anyways.
You are not truly alone.
But yes, you probably feel alone.
You probably think this is just how life goes.
That you're born, you stare at a lot of screens,
You laugh, you love, you hurt, but you don't ever say too much
Or act too weird, or explore too far, or think too deep.
You do as your told, and you try to fit in,
You ignore things that don't feel good,
And you settle for what doesn't feel too awful.
And then you die.
But you are not truly alone.
You are not truly alone, because I stand beside you,
Longing deeply to see more, feel more, do more.
To think more, to read more, to sing more.
I want to say hard things, and ask hard questions.
I want to make sacrifices that give long-term benefits,
I want to be wrong, and learn, and grow.
I want to be better tomorrow than I was today,
And I want to connect to people,
To be with them as they feel, and grow, and experience God's love.
I want us all to get up and engage the world in the short time we get.
I too feel the pull to "be normal" and stick with what you know.
But I'd like to shove the fear of being alone
Where the sun don't shine, if you know what I mean.
Because there's no need to fear being alone,
You are never truly alone.
You are a perfect piece for right where you are.
You have been crafted and designed to do the work of Christ,
His hands were pierced and his body was wounded,
So that you would never be alone.
Know that you see things differently, and you feel things differently
Because you are different.
You are exactly what God Almighty thought the world needed.
You, right where you are, exactly who you are,
Awkward, silly, sassy, crazy, weird you were not created by mistake.
You feel things and see things in a different way,
Not because you're messed up or broken or strange, but
Because we need your perspective to get the full picture.
We need you. We need you to be different, or
The world will be missing out.
When you're tempted to simply sell out
And pretend you're fine with mediocre living,
Remember,
You are not truly alone,
I am right here with you.
"And behold, I am with you always, even unto the end of the age."
Wednesday, September 21, 2016
Thursday, July 21, 2016
Following the Cloud
So you know that story in Exodus, the one where the Israelites are wandering through the desert trying to get to the Promised Land? Like right after their escape from Egypt with the 10 plagues and such?
Well during that time while they were going through the desert God was present to them in a cloud by day and a pillar of fire during the night. And this was how God led the Isrealites to the Promised Land. He didn't tell them directions or how long it would take, but he was there with them in the cloud and in the fire.
They had to trust that God was taking them somewhere. I mean, how much trust does it show that they followed a CLOUD through the DESERT!? Granted, if a pillar of fire appeared, I'd probably follow it too... But at any rate, because they were faithful (at least somewhat, haha), God brought them all to the Promised Land. They screwed things up from there, but God took them where He wanted them and where He promised to take them.
Why is this relevant?
Well, in my life, I desperately want to be following the Cloud. Not in a weird look-to-the-sky-for-guidance kind of way, but in a Holy Spirit give me peace when I'm underneath God's presence, and make me desperately thirsty for you when I'm not.
That might sound weird still, but in my life thus far, God has been very faithful to show me when one thing is ending and another is beginning. I'm not saying I've done it well or gracefully, but I have tried to follow where God would have me to be.
I am consistently praying for this leading of Christ in my life. I want to be in my Sweet Spot, where I am most able to be used by God for His glory. And I have recently felt that God was saying, "It's time."
That being said, I will be moving tomorrow, Lord willing, to Bumpass VA, to do what I'm deeming "fund-raising" (AKA working as much as possible) for what is next for me, which at this point is looking like being in Myrtle Beach for a season with my brother and sister-in-law as they bring two lovely boys into the world =)
What's after that for me? Well I don't know! I'll let you know when the Cloud moves me closer to that season. Why am I telling you all this? Well, because I am greedy for your prayers. "Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain." I am nervous to be leaving a place that I know and love so much. I am trusting that God has big things in mind for my life, and that this is just a part of His plan. No matter where God leads, I will follow. Be it wealth or poverty, ease or difficulty, I pray that the Joy of the Lord will continue to be my strength.
I also hope to encourage you. I believe that often we think that we have to move in order to be of better use to God, or we glorify those who go overseas to do mission work (it is awesome btw!), but until God moves you, you stay right where he has you and dig in! Minister to your co-workers, your neighbors, the lost in your city. I didn't leave Lynchburg until now because my ministry here wasn't over, and if that's how you feel right now, then don't you dare go anywhere. You're doing an awesome job, and you keep it up!
God has great plans for us, as long as we are willing. Let us continue to pray for one another as we journey through this life, if you are a fellow follower of Christ, then I won't say goodbye, but rather, see ya later! =)
Also, I want to say thank you to my Lynchburg people, you are some of the most incredible people I've ever met, and my heart is heavy to farther from you. Thank you for being there for me through the past 6 years. Ya'll have been the biggest blessing to me, and I promise that the distance won't change how much I love you and that my ears are open if you ever need someone to listen, and my door will be open if you ever need a place to rest. I honestly don't know how to say thank you for all the breakfast date accountabilities and all the lessons you've taught me, I hope that the way I live will be worthy of how you have poured into me.
Love you!
Because He Lives,
Courtney Woolfolk
Well during that time while they were going through the desert God was present to them in a cloud by day and a pillar of fire during the night. And this was how God led the Isrealites to the Promised Land. He didn't tell them directions or how long it would take, but he was there with them in the cloud and in the fire.
They had to trust that God was taking them somewhere. I mean, how much trust does it show that they followed a CLOUD through the DESERT!? Granted, if a pillar of fire appeared, I'd probably follow it too... But at any rate, because they were faithful (at least somewhat, haha), God brought them all to the Promised Land. They screwed things up from there, but God took them where He wanted them and where He promised to take them.
Why is this relevant?
Well, in my life, I desperately want to be following the Cloud. Not in a weird look-to-the-sky-for-guidance kind of way, but in a Holy Spirit give me peace when I'm underneath God's presence, and make me desperately thirsty for you when I'm not.
That might sound weird still, but in my life thus far, God has been very faithful to show me when one thing is ending and another is beginning. I'm not saying I've done it well or gracefully, but I have tried to follow where God would have me to be.
I am consistently praying for this leading of Christ in my life. I want to be in my Sweet Spot, where I am most able to be used by God for His glory. And I have recently felt that God was saying, "It's time."
That being said, I will be moving tomorrow, Lord willing, to Bumpass VA, to do what I'm deeming "fund-raising" (AKA working as much as possible) for what is next for me, which at this point is looking like being in Myrtle Beach for a season with my brother and sister-in-law as they bring two lovely boys into the world =)
What's after that for me? Well I don't know! I'll let you know when the Cloud moves me closer to that season. Why am I telling you all this? Well, because I am greedy for your prayers. "Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain." I am nervous to be leaving a place that I know and love so much. I am trusting that God has big things in mind for my life, and that this is just a part of His plan. No matter where God leads, I will follow. Be it wealth or poverty, ease or difficulty, I pray that the Joy of the Lord will continue to be my strength.
I also hope to encourage you. I believe that often we think that we have to move in order to be of better use to God, or we glorify those who go overseas to do mission work (it is awesome btw!), but until God moves you, you stay right where he has you and dig in! Minister to your co-workers, your neighbors, the lost in your city. I didn't leave Lynchburg until now because my ministry here wasn't over, and if that's how you feel right now, then don't you dare go anywhere. You're doing an awesome job, and you keep it up!
God has great plans for us, as long as we are willing. Let us continue to pray for one another as we journey through this life, if you are a fellow follower of Christ, then I won't say goodbye, but rather, see ya later! =)
Also, I want to say thank you to my Lynchburg people, you are some of the most incredible people I've ever met, and my heart is heavy to farther from you. Thank you for being there for me through the past 6 years. Ya'll have been the biggest blessing to me, and I promise that the distance won't change how much I love you and that my ears are open if you ever need someone to listen, and my door will be open if you ever need a place to rest. I honestly don't know how to say thank you for all the breakfast date accountabilities and all the lessons you've taught me, I hope that the way I live will be worthy of how you have poured into me.
Love you!
Because He Lives,
Courtney Woolfolk
Tuesday, April 19, 2016
For Singles Only
I've noticed that most posts talking about singleness are written by people who struggled through it but then found someone. These articles are encouraging, but they lack perspective for me. They don't satisfy the Why-hasn't-God-answered-me-yet? question. I don't want to hear about your happy ending when I'm still in the tragedy of my story! (ok, that's a little dramatic (but isn't that how it feels sometimes? I mean honestly!))
But the real reason these kinds of posts don't encourage me is because they encourage expectancy of something other than God. Sure they say focus on Christ, but why? So that he will give you a spouse? Is this ever a good reason to worship the all-powerful Creator of the universe? So that he will give us what we want? We should live expectantly of God. Just God. We expect more of Him, not his gifts.
I guess writing about singleness whilst still being single makes you "The Potentially Forever Single Girl." Which is a pretty lame title. Nobody wants that, and nobody wants everyone to know about it. I definitely don't. (Anyone who dares call me that can expect a fist in their throat btw (jk (but really)))
But alas, I've spoken with enough single people to know that most of us struggle with the same feelings and longings. I'm not sure I can be a huge help in fact I highly doubt it, but I do know this: I can say something about it. Open up the door to conversation and hopefully growth.
If we all struggle silently, we struggle alone.
We were created for more than this.
So here's what I have to say:
It's not easy. Maybe it's not supposed to be. Growth comes from struggle. Embrace the feelings, wrangle them up, name them out and lay them before Christ.
It's not easy.
But it is bearable.
Instead of scratching and clawing my way out of singleness like it's a sickness, I will see this opportunity given to me to sink my teeth into the depths of all Christ has for me right now.
If Paul didn't see the prison guards and restraints as a reason to gripe and complain, yet he rose his voice to praise God despite his circumstances, then though I am alone on earth I will praise God for his goodness.
Christ is far better than anything or anyone.
I also have a lot of questions that I'm still pondering:
What if singleness isn't something I'm supposed to try to get out of without first sinking deeply into it and learning all that I can from it?
Am I following Christ closely enough that I can trust that he has me exactly where I'm supposed to be?
If I am called to singleness (for only God knows why), am I willing to follow Christ no matter what the cost?
And here's what I have to say to those fellow perpetually single folks out there:
You are loved. You have already been chosen. You are not alone. You are just as worthy and important as you ever will be. God has purpose for your life. Don't seek a spouse, seek Christ. And praise him for what he has done. Expect great things, but don't set your heart on what that may look like in your life. Maybe God does have a spouse in mind for you, but maybe he has a ministry for you greater than you could ever imagine first. God is far more creative than we could ever hope to be, his plan for your life is more beautiful than what we could ever manufacture. Release control, rest in Christ, and watch God do his work.
You change the world, not by how you will live tomorrow, but how you live today.
Know I pray for you, dear brothers and sisters in Christ. Know you are held in His hands and that He doesn't drop his kids =)
I think there's a lot more to be said about this, this is kind of an introductory post. Lookout for future posts if you're interested!
ALSO! I'm hopelessly hopeful, this is NOT a cry for attention. I'm mostly hoping to encourage my fam. Don't feel the need to tell me how eligible I am. I'm fully aware of my awesomeness level ;)
Anyway, thanks for reading the whole thing, I like you, you thorough reader you! ;)
But the real reason these kinds of posts don't encourage me is because they encourage expectancy of something other than God. Sure they say focus on Christ, but why? So that he will give you a spouse? Is this ever a good reason to worship the all-powerful Creator of the universe? So that he will give us what we want? We should live expectantly of God. Just God. We expect more of Him, not his gifts.
I guess writing about singleness whilst still being single makes you "The Potentially Forever Single Girl." Which is a pretty lame title. Nobody wants that, and nobody wants everyone to know about it. I definitely don't. (Anyone who dares call me that can expect a fist in their throat btw (jk (but really)))
But alas, I've spoken with enough single people to know that most of us struggle with the same feelings and longings. I'm not sure I can be a huge help in fact I highly doubt it, but I do know this: I can say something about it. Open up the door to conversation and hopefully growth.
If we all struggle silently, we struggle alone.
We were created for more than this.
So here's what I have to say:
It's not easy. Maybe it's not supposed to be. Growth comes from struggle. Embrace the feelings, wrangle them up, name them out and lay them before Christ.
It's not easy.
But it is bearable.
Instead of scratching and clawing my way out of singleness like it's a sickness, I will see this opportunity given to me to sink my teeth into the depths of all Christ has for me right now.
If Paul didn't see the prison guards and restraints as a reason to gripe and complain, yet he rose his voice to praise God despite his circumstances, then though I am alone on earth I will praise God for his goodness.
Christ is far better than anything or anyone.
I also have a lot of questions that I'm still pondering:
What if singleness isn't something I'm supposed to try to get out of without first sinking deeply into it and learning all that I can from it?
Am I following Christ closely enough that I can trust that he has me exactly where I'm supposed to be?
If I am called to singleness (for only God knows why), am I willing to follow Christ no matter what the cost?
And here's what I have to say to those fellow perpetually single folks out there:
You are loved. You have already been chosen. You are not alone. You are just as worthy and important as you ever will be. God has purpose for your life. Don't seek a spouse, seek Christ. And praise him for what he has done. Expect great things, but don't set your heart on what that may look like in your life. Maybe God does have a spouse in mind for you, but maybe he has a ministry for you greater than you could ever imagine first. God is far more creative than we could ever hope to be, his plan for your life is more beautiful than what we could ever manufacture. Release control, rest in Christ, and watch God do his work.
You change the world, not by how you will live tomorrow, but how you live today.
Know I pray for you, dear brothers and sisters in Christ. Know you are held in His hands and that He doesn't drop his kids =)
I think there's a lot more to be said about this, this is kind of an introductory post. Lookout for future posts if you're interested!
ALSO! I'm hopelessly hopeful, this is NOT a cry for attention. I'm mostly hoping to encourage my fam. Don't feel the need to tell me how eligible I am. I'm fully aware of my awesomeness level ;)
Anyway, thanks for reading the whole thing, I like you, you thorough reader you! ;)
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