This is why we can't have nice things.

(An easy read for your enjoyment, or confusion, whichever occurs, it's for that.)

I have killed a cactus.
Need I say more?
The poor thing is dead. Apparently you can water them too much.
I did not know this.
And now my cactus is dead.
I googled how to kill a cactus and the only other way to kill them is to dump gallons of weed killer on them.
So yeah, I'm the equivalent of gallons of weed killer to plants.
Awesome.
I should probably never be allowed to have kids, pets, fine china, or anything that could possibly ever break, become hungry, or be overly watered. (Can you over-water a child???)
It's sad when you think you're doing such a great job remembering to water your cactus just to find that your love in this act of watering is actually killing it.
I over-loved my cactus.
That sounds much better than killed...
Inteviewer: "What would you say your biggest weakness is?"
Me: "Over-loving"
Is it weird to call plant murder, over-loving?
Probably.
They'll never know...
So moral of the story? If you want to get me a present, make sure it's not a living thing or could possibly get hurt if dropped from a 5 story building.